Unlocking Success Mindset: Redefining Masculinity and Mental Well-being with Daniel Gasser.
In this captivating episode of "The On Mindset Talks," host Jean-Paul Pangalos engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Daniel G.
This podcast interview invites listeners to explore the complexities of emotions, masculinity, and personal growth. Through Daniel G's empowering insights, they are encouraged to embrace their own unique stories, break free from societal constraints, and embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery.
You will delve into the intricacies of personal growth, challenging societal norms, and redefining masculinity in the context of mental well-being.
This insightful discussion offers listeners a fresh perspective on embracing emotions and evolving into their authentic selves.
Daniel G's powerful message centers around the importance of men taking personal responsibility for their mental well-being. He dispels the misconception that vulnerability equates to weakness, instead emphasizing that expressing emotions openly is a vital aspect of true strength.
Drawing from his own experiences, Daniel G encourages listeners to break free from the constraints of societal expectations and allow themselves to evolve emotionally.
One intriguing highlight of the conversation is Daniel G's unconventional response to the question of recommending a book. Rather than suggesting a single universally applicable book, he proposes that each person should write and read their own book. This profound insight underscores the beauty and uniqueness of individual stories, inspiring listeners to embrace their own narratives and explore the transformative power of personal storytelling.
To connect with Daniel G and delve deeper into his work, listeners can find him at www.DanielG.online
His soon-to-be-launched coaching program will serve as a valuable resource for personal growth.
Additionally, for those grappling with alcohol addiction, quitthebottle.com offers a supportive platform.
Daniel G's active presence on LinkedIn and TikTok provides opportunities to engage with his content and join the ongoing conversation.
Tune in to this episode of "The On Mindset Talks" to unlock the keys to a successful mindset and redefine your approach to mental well-being.
Transcript
So, Daniel G welcome to the podcast.
Speaker:We talked and we connected last week and we decided for you to come to the show.
Speaker:We have been speaking and you have a product launch, a service,
Speaker:new service that you are going to launch at the end of the month.
Speaker:We're going to talk about that.
Speaker:But also I wanted to expand with you
Speaker:a bit about mindsets, about working with clients,
Speaker:talk also about the trends and patterns that we're seeing in today, in society,
Speaker:in business, with what's going on with people, especially after the pandemic.
Speaker:What's your observation and what do you believe?
Speaker:What do you believe that is the solution
Speaker:or the way in order to improve and make progress?
Speaker:So starting straight off the bat, what is your observation?
Speaker:What you've seen has happened after
Speaker:the pandemic, in terms of the discussion
Speaker:that everybody's talking about mental health, it's something that's very aware.
Speaker:What is your take on the situation and what have you seen in terms
Speaker:of patterns or trends going on with mindset and people just struggling?
Speaker:And what's your opinion on what you're
Speaker:seeing and what you're observing with your clients and people in general?
Speaker:Tell me a bit about that. Hi, Jean Paul.
Speaker:First of all, thanks for having me.
Speaker:Nice to be here.
Speaker:I don't know much about the trends.
Speaker:I'm not the follower of trends,
Speaker:because trends are very short living and they change all the time.
Speaker:And
Speaker:if you live long enough on this planet, you know that trends is not important,
Speaker:really, because take the example of coffee.
Speaker:And one year they say coffee is very healthy, and three years later they say
Speaker:coffee is pure poison, stop drinking, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker:So at a certain age you get tired of all these trends, you know?
Speaker:But for me, I think mental health has become a keyword,
Speaker:and everybody's talking about it, but nobody really or not not enough people
Speaker:really take the time to think about what mental health really means.
Speaker:For me, I think mental health is something
Speaker:that we, first of all, are responsible for ourselves.
Speaker:I have to take care of my brain, of my mind, of my mindset,
Speaker:of my emotional state, as well as I have to take care of my body.
Speaker:And blaming society, or blaming
Speaker:so called pandemic or whatever, I don't know if it's the right way to go.
Speaker:What I think is positive that due to the pandemic, the topic has risen.
Speaker:So it's good, we talk about mental health, it's good.
Speaker:Especially we talk about mental health
Speaker:as men, because society always assumed that we men,
Speaker:we have no problems, and if we have, we drink too much or we don't talk about it.
Speaker:But I observe amongst my clients huge issues because of that lack
Speaker:of communication, because of that lack of openness that we can say as man,
Speaker:listen, I'm not doing well, I'm unhappy, I'm sad, I'm depressed,
Speaker:I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate my wife, I hate my family.
Speaker:Don't say you hate your kids.
Speaker:Nobody can say that.
Speaker:But what if it's the case?
Speaker:With whom do you talk about that?
Speaker:With nobody.
Speaker:So you bury this inside of you and then you get kind of mentally ill now,
Speaker:not in a psychiatric way, but you're not healthy in your mind,
Speaker:which then has, as we both know, huge consequences in your life.
Speaker:Yeah. So mental health is important.
Speaker:It was important before the pandemic,
Speaker:but it has become less a taboo, let's call it like that.
Speaker:That's the trend I was talking about. Yes.
Speaker:It's about the openness that people are stepping up and talking about it openly
Speaker:without shame or without the fear of consequences.
Speaker:From that perspective, I do think it's positive.
Speaker:But if you like talking about what
Speaker:the principles are and regardless of the new trend or the new
Speaker:fashion or what's less taboo, what are the principles behind?
Speaker:You were talking about men and not feeling
Speaker:happy with their lives, with their jobs, with the decisions they made.
Speaker:What do you believe is the common topic
Speaker:that connects all this unhappiness among men?
Speaker:Is there something or it's a number
Speaker:of things, or there's an underlying issue behind all
Speaker:the symptoms that we're experiencing and people are feeling.
Speaker:What's your take on that?
Speaker:What's going on there? I think so.
Speaker:There are multiple reasons,
Speaker:but maybe you could break it down to we are not allowed to not feel well.
Speaker:We are not allowed to cry.
Speaker:We are not allowed to not be the provider.
Speaker:We cannot stand up in society and say, I don't want to provide anymore.
Speaker:I need time for myself.
Speaker:Is that self imposed or is it society or
Speaker:it's the status quo that does not allow you?
Speaker:We make society, we create society as it is, so it's our fault.
Speaker:It's self imposed in a way.
Speaker:But the good thing is we have the liberty to change it.
Speaker:We created that kind of society.
Speaker:We have the liberty to change it.
Speaker:And it starts with ourselves and it starts with our environment.
Speaker:I guess the common thing is that
Speaker:what I always say in my posts, in my coachings, I preach it loudly and boldly.
Speaker:I said talk, just talk to people.
Speaker:Talk to other men.
Speaker:Talk to your wife, hug your wife, cry in her arms.
Speaker:That's nothing bad about it.
Speaker:Just talk, for God's sake.
Speaker:Come up and talk to people.
Speaker:And especially talk to other men that maybe have had
Speaker:the experience to go through a mental instability,
Speaker:let's call it like that, and now are happy and they know how to do it.
Speaker:And you can talk to every man who has a happy life now and hasn't before.
Speaker:The way to break that is to talk, to communicate.
Speaker:So I think that's the main reason that we
Speaker:don't talk, because we don't want to be the pussy
Speaker:in the eye of other men, and especially but we don't say that.
Speaker:We don't want to seem weak in the eye
Speaker:of women because we have to be the strong terminator Tarsan guy.
Speaker:We think even though women tell us all the time, no, it's not true.
Speaker:We don't want big muscles, we want your heart.
Speaker:That's what women tell us, right?
Speaker:But we still think we have to be your but no, I mean, it's good to be strong.
Speaker:It's good that women feel safe in our presence, but that's not the only thing.
Speaker:And to become real and happy
Speaker:and fulfilled, you have to let your stuck things out.
Speaker:Okay? You're talking about strength.
Speaker:You're talking about communication.
Speaker:Is it that we could be strong in the wrong areas?
Speaker:For example, we make sure that we perceive
Speaker:to be strong from the outside, in appearance, in confidence.
Speaker:But maybe the foundations inside of us are not that strong,
Speaker:and that's what's working, and we need to reverse the process.
Speaker:Or it's something else.
Speaker:From from your approach and your experience.
Speaker:I think it's the other way around.
Speaker:I think we're basically we're strong
Speaker:beings because the male has his strength, right?
Speaker:Has his qualities and his weakness and his strength, and we know what we can do.
Speaker:And we know what we can't do.
Speaker:That's the biggest quality of a man.
Speaker:We're logic.
Speaker:We know, I can do this, I can't do this, I'm good in this.
Speaker:I'm not good in that.
Speaker:I don't think that's the problem.
Speaker:I think we have to allow ourselves to live our weaknesses.
Speaker:That doesn't make us less strong.
Speaker:I'll give you an example.
Speaker:When I enter a room on a business meeting,
Speaker:on a business event or so, all men suited, only men exclusively.
Speaker:Don't ask me why.
Speaker:That's another topic.
Speaker:And I pretend to be strong.
Speaker:The other man, the other gentlemen in the room, they perceive that.
Speaker:They can sense that I'm only pretending, but they can.
Speaker:The pretending, okay,
Speaker:but if I'm truly strong from the bottom, then you enter the room.
Speaker:You own the room. You don't need to talk.
Speaker:Everybody's looking at you, oh, there's some man coming.
Speaker:And you don't build that strength on top of a weakness.
Speaker:So if we were weak below there.
Speaker:There's no strength on top.
Speaker:It's the other way around. We're weak.
Speaker:We're strong on the bottom, but we got weak on the top
Speaker:because, and especially these past years, we're not allowed to be men anymore.
Speaker:You know, we are not allowed to swear.
Speaker:We are not allowed to do this.
Speaker:We're not allowed to hit someone.
Speaker:We're not allowed to talk.
Speaker:What do you think?
Speaker:Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker:So we have been taken away, that animalistic male side.
Speaker:We're not allowed to be male anymore.
Speaker:We have a saying in Swiss Germany as
Speaker:soon as you get the deep voice, you're a macho.
Speaker:You don't need to do anything.
Speaker:You just become a man.
Speaker:And it's wrong.
Speaker:So I think we need to reverse that process a little bit.
Speaker:It has been like a pendulum.
Speaker:It was good the movement went to the side
Speaker:of the women to make them strong in society.
Speaker:But now it needs to get back a little bit so it balance the game.
Speaker:Okay, there's two lectures, I'm thinking. Here one.
Speaker:I get the process of being strong inside.
Speaker:And once you embrace that strength, you don't need to do anything.
Speaker:It just expresses from you.
Speaker:And that's where the strength is.
Speaker:And not necessarily that doesn't necessarily mean you have to act strong.
Speaker:Hey, you can feel strong inside and you can cry or you can feel vulnerable.
Speaker:That's interesting.
Speaker:When you say that we are not allowed to be
Speaker:men, something rings inside of me
Speaker:that connects to victimhood or complaints or putting the problem outside.
Speaker:Does it have to do with that or has nothing to do with that?
Speaker:And it's just being aware of what's.
Speaker:Happening, I think, being aware of what's happening in society.
Speaker:I mean, if everybody around you tells you,
Speaker:this is wrong, what you're doing, you don't do it anymore, you stop it.
Speaker:If your mother is telling you that you're
Speaker:not allowed to do this, you stop it because it's your mother,
Speaker:because you're a boy and you listen to your mother.
Speaker:And if your father in these days is doing
Speaker:it already, you take that as an example and you think this is normal.
Speaker:But that takes away an important part
Speaker:of being a man, and it's observable, especially in Europe.
Speaker:I don't know about America that much, but in Europe, it's observable.
Speaker:When young men make stupid things, they're not allowed to do that anymore.
Speaker:When we were young, we did a lot of stupid things,
Speaker:and we were patted on the hand and said, this was bad.
Speaker:Don't do that anymore. Now it's not allowed.
Speaker:And that has been scientifically proven.
Speaker:It's very important for a man to do stupid
Speaker:things in order to become a man, to test our strength.
Speaker:You know, as well, and me in puberty, our testosterone goes crazy.
Speaker:We go mad. We go crazy.
Speaker:All we can zing is muscles and sex.
Speaker:If we see a woman all in our heads, like,
Speaker:right this is a young man, but this is normal.
Speaker:This is a normal process of becoming a man.
Speaker:Nowadays, you're not allowed to do that anymore.
Speaker:So the evolution of the man from the boy to the man is disturbed.
Speaker:I don't know who did that.
Speaker:I don't want to blame anybody.
Speaker:We do society.
Speaker:But I think this is a real problem.
Speaker:So that's what I mean.
Speaker:We're not allowed to be men anymore.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Certainly one of the things if some men or even women or people are listening
Speaker:to this, one of the things that is important is
Speaker:for them to realize and be aware of what's going on inside of them
Speaker:in relation to these things that we're talking.
Speaker:If people can relate.
Speaker:And for me,
Speaker:from a coaching and personal development perspective,
Speaker:I think that one of the biggest qualities that somebody can develop is the ability
Speaker:to be self aware, generates awareness and consciousness.
Speaker:How do you
Speaker:approach self awareness with yourself and your clients and how do you develop it?
Speaker:So now we're coming a little bit towards my new program.
Speaker:So my approach is through the emotion.
Speaker:Because scientifically speaking,
Speaker:the emotion is the highest frequency, the highest energy.
Speaker:A human being can emit electricity.
Speaker:Everything works with electricity, right?
Speaker:So a bad emotion is a low frequency.
Speaker:A higher emotion is a high frequency.
Speaker:But it's all due to electricity.
Speaker:It's all due to energy.
Speaker:So if we have good emotions I mean, I don't mean with good emotions,
Speaker:positive emotions or negative emotions, but healthy emotions.
Speaker:If we are aware of our emotions and we don't fight them,
Speaker:we men, especially the man from my generations, we do that.
Speaker:What are healthy emotions?
Speaker:Define healthy emotions beside feeling pressure versus pain.
Speaker:No, a healthy emotion can be pain.
Speaker:What I mean is, imagine that somebody is like, what are you talking about, Daniel?
Speaker:I tried to explain. So a healthy emotion is an emotion you
Speaker:accept to be there and you go through it and you live that emotion.
Speaker:That is a healthy emotion.
Speaker:Because if you live it, if you accept it,
Speaker:then it will last for the time being and it will vanish.
Speaker:And that's a healthy emotion. On the contrary.
Speaker:On the other hand, if you push down your
Speaker:emotions, positive or negative emotion, that's not healthy.
Speaker:And that's what makes you weak and that's what makes you unaware of yourself.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Because having emotions is a trait of a human being.
Speaker:It comes with the package, right?
Speaker:As I see it, we are higher consciousness and we have a body
Speaker:to make this journey in this three dimensional binary world, right?
Speaker:But with this vessel, which we call body, comes thoughts, comes emotions, comes ego,
Speaker:comes sex, comes pain, comes all the whole package.
Speaker:Now, who are we to accept some traits of this package and others not?
Speaker:It's the deal.
Speaker:The deal is here you go, there is your vessel.
Speaker:You have emotions, you have thoughts you have, all of it, deal with it.
Speaker:And what we men do very often is we don't
Speaker:want to deal with it, but the emotion is still there, we just suppress it.
Speaker:And that's an unhealthy emotion.
Speaker:Healthy is if you feel like crying, then cry.
Speaker:That's a healthy emotion.
Speaker:Even if you feel crappy.
Speaker:But it's the way it is.
Speaker:I have the belief, and this is my belief
Speaker:and I'm just curious to see if you share it or you disagree with it.
Speaker:That one of the main problems with that is that people
Speaker:I'm going to include women too, people in society we have become obsessed
Speaker:with pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain at all costs.
Speaker:So we cannot make the distinction
Speaker:of embracing negative emotions as part of the deal
Speaker:because we just do not want to experience anything that is uncomfortable,
Speaker:anything that makes us feel hurtful inside any situation and any circumstances.
Speaker:And we have become binary in that feeling.
Speaker:When we make decisions, we believe that it's what's going to give
Speaker:me pleasure and what's going to be good and what is it that I want to avoid?
Speaker:And to add to that,
Speaker:we have bought when I say we, I don't say myself.
Speaker:But if we're talking about society, and we're a society as a whole,
Speaker:as a society we have lost the awareness to even distinguish
Speaker:that the pain and the pleasure that we seek is almost always external from us.
Speaker:So it's a lose lose situation, no matter what you do.
Speaker:And the cost of being conditioned, of operating that way is you lose sense of
Speaker:yourself, you lose awareness of the whole perspective.
Speaker:And for me, you lose control.
Speaker:You lose control of yourself, you become a slave.
Speaker:Would you agree with that? Would you disagree?
Speaker:Would you add something to it?
Speaker:What's your take, Daniel?
Speaker:Absolutely agree with that.
Speaker:The seek of pleasure in the outside doesn't lead to a healthy state.
Speaker:On the contrary, as you say, I'm totally with you on this.
Speaker:But I discovered that also I was the same.
Speaker:I sought pleasure on the outside,
Speaker:I sought solutions in the outside and when I couldn't find one,
Speaker:I started drinking a lot, too much, for too many years.
Speaker:And I had to stop this first in order to become healthy again.
Speaker:Pain in the ass, don't do that.
Speaker:But anyway, the thing is everything, every solution is inside of us.
Speaker:And to get to that state that we all seek, which is happiness, we all seek happiness.
Speaker:Every human being wants to be happy in a way or in another.
Speaker:So in that consuming society that happiness
Speaker:comes with a Porsche, comes with a big TV, comes with a woman every night,
Speaker:different woman every night, of course, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker:That quest is futile because that doesn't make happy.
Speaker:There's an old saying money doesn't make happy.
Speaker:It's true, it helps, but it's not the cause of happiness.
Speaker:Right? And I go even a step further.
Speaker:You only can make money if you're happy.
Speaker:Let that sink in a little bit.
Speaker:Because if you're in a happy state, what's your phrase?
Speaker:Think about it.
Speaker:Think about it.
Speaker:If you're in a happy state, you're positive.
Speaker:And if you're positive, your environment is positive.
Speaker:We go now a little bit quantum mechanics, but that's the way it is.
Speaker:And it has been proven that's not some Esoteric BS.
Speaker:It's measurable.
Speaker:So when you go out and seek business or seek to make money or whatever,
Speaker:you find people that are in the same state that you or in a similar state.
Speaker:So if you're happy, you will find happy people.
Speaker:You will find happy business partners, and you will do happy business with them.
Speaker:But if you're negative and you say,
Speaker:everybody's going to cheat me and the world is a very bad place
Speaker:and money stinks and I stink and you stink, guess what happens in your life?
Speaker:Your life's going to suck big time.
Speaker:So happiness is always within.
Speaker:I think it was Buddha, if that's true,
Speaker:saying happiness, there's no way to happiness.
Speaker:Happiness is the way.
Speaker:And if your basic necessities are met,
Speaker:like you have clean water, you have something to eat,
Speaker:and you have a safe place to sleep, it's entirely up to you.
Speaker:Yeah, absolutely up to you.
Speaker:It's a decision.
Speaker:So if you want to be happy, you will become happy.
Speaker:And that's the thing.
Speaker:You will have to go through pain. Okay?
Speaker:And not the pain that society inflicts on you, but the pain you inflicted
Speaker:during your lifetime until this moment on yourself.
Speaker:And that's what we refuse to do as a society.
Speaker:And as you say, we seek that happiness on the outside, but it's in there,
Speaker:and you have to dig through the pain, through the crap.
Speaker:You have to dig it all out.
Speaker:It's painful, but it's never as painful as
Speaker:the year long pain you inflicted on yourself.
Speaker:By refusing to go through that pain, you stack your pain up and up.
Speaker:Exactly. We agree.
Speaker:For me, happiness is a decision,
Speaker:and that does not mean everything is working perfectly all the time.
Speaker:Quite the opposite. But if you make it the decision to be
Speaker:happy, you can go through hell in deep inside, say,
Speaker:it's part of the process and I'm happy today, and it's your outlook.
Speaker:I think it has to do with the attitude.
Speaker:What would you say to somebody that's listening to this and say, daniel,
Speaker:but okay, I get it, but it's just not comfortable.
Speaker:It's not fun to go through that.
Speaker:Why on earth would I put myself through that?
Speaker:What would you tell a person that says that?
Speaker:So nobody who ever walked on this planet as a human being said,
Speaker:life is comfortable when you're in your mother's womb.
Speaker:That's the only comfortable time in life if you want to be comfortable.
Speaker:And that's the paradox on you have to go through the uncomfortable because
Speaker:happiness doesn't mean that you walk around like a smiling idiot all the time.
Speaker:No, happiness, true happiness means that you
Speaker:are able to manage life in a state of all right challenge instead
Speaker:of a state of, oh, Michael, what's happening to me again?
Speaker:So my life is happy have my challenges.
Speaker:I have spent two years building up this
Speaker:coaching business and this coaching program.
Speaker:It took me two freaking years.
Speaker:Do you think I was happy all the time?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:I was many times close to giving in.
Speaker:I was many times close to blaming all around me,
Speaker:all the world for my pain, et cetera, et cetera, as a regular human being.
Speaker:But true happiness is, you know why you're doing this?
Speaker:Because you want to have a good life and a happy life.
Speaker:And happiness means to go through every situation that life
Speaker:presents to you in a state of, okay, let's do this.
Speaker:That's happiness.
Speaker:Okay, good.
Speaker:We also think, and we have a weird definition
Speaker:of happiness in these days that means you have to be smiling all the time.
Speaker:That's not true happiness. Why?
Speaker:It cannot be because the world as such is not exclusively a happy place.
Speaker:It's always both.
Speaker:We live in a binary world, so
Speaker:all the time happiness not going to happen, not on this world.
Speaker:That alone.
Speaker:If we could both get across this and the best place to actually show
Speaker:examples of this personally, I think, is nature.
Speaker:When you look at plants and when you look at tree, they're not always in full bloom.
Speaker:They are not always happy flowers.
Speaker:They go through winter and they go through
Speaker:autumn and almost they seem that they're dying,
Speaker:but then the cycle repeats and they start growing again as part of the process.
Speaker:I believe that we operate the same way,
Speaker:and it's delusional to think that we have to be happy flowers all the time,
Speaker:and that's our standard, our baseline, and that's what we achieve.
Speaker:Interesting, your comparison lacks is a bit flawed
Speaker:because a plant or an animal doesn't ask the question, they just are.
Speaker:If I look at my cat, he's a cat, period.
Speaker:He doesn't ask himself if he's happy or not.
Speaker:As long as you pet him and you give him
Speaker:food and he has mice to chase and a nice way to go outside, he's a cat, period.
Speaker:The difference between animal and plants
Speaker:and ourselves is we can ask the question, and that's what causes all the problems.
Speaker:If we wouldn't be able to ask questions, we wouldn't have any problems.
Speaker:So it's that consciousness of being able
Speaker:to ask questions and self reflect, but at the same time that's the problem.
Speaker:Is it that we're not using that properly?
Speaker:What do you believe about that?
Speaker:No, it's the definition of being a human
Speaker:being you came to this world to experience.
Speaker:If you see my signature on LinkedIn,
Speaker:it says, we are the universe experiencing itself through infinite point of view.
Speaker:We choose as soul, higher consciousness, energy, whatever you want to call it.
Speaker:We choose to come here to experience
Speaker:that with a mind, with the consciousness, with a brain, with a huge fucking brain.
Speaker:That's us. That's what we want.
Speaker:That's why we come here as human being.
Speaker:So if you cut that, you're not a human being anymore.
Speaker:You're an animal.
Speaker:Nothing against animal.
Speaker:I love them.
Speaker:They are happy by definition, they're just happy animals.
Speaker:They don't ask the question,
Speaker:but we ask the question as soon as we perceive ourselves in the mirror as child.
Speaker:I think it's around three or four years.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Oh, that's me bomb.
Speaker:Then the ego kicks in and then the whole journey starts.
Speaker:What is your personal driver in life?
Speaker:What keeps you going?
Speaker:What do you pursue?
Speaker:What do you seek?
Speaker:I know for a fact that we are way more than some working slaves.
Speaker:Let's call it like that.
Speaker:We're way more than just going,
Speaker:working all our lives, paying bills and taxes and then die.
Speaker:That's what a lot of people do these days for a long time already.
Speaker:And I know for a fact that we were way more.
Speaker:I went through some mystic experience.
Speaker:I went through some hilarious experiences.
Speaker:And my mission is to get that idea a little bit more
Speaker:into the world that we are the creators of our lives.
Speaker:We are the true, divine powerful beings,
Speaker:that we kind of sense somewhere that we are still, but we have forgotten it.
Speaker:And my job is to remind ourselves of that.
Speaker:And do you think that everybody,
Speaker:every single person on Earth should remind themselves that?
Speaker:Or maybe there's a journey for some
Speaker:and for others, they're just happy at that level.
Speaker:That's nothing to do with happiness as such.
Speaker:That has to do with consciousness.
Speaker:To be aware of your powers, of your true powers.
Speaker:We can basically, with our mind, with our brain,
Speaker:with our emotions and thoughts, we can snap our fingers and create things.
Speaker:No other being on that planet can do that.
Speaker:Only we.
Speaker:But we don't, because we have been told to shut up,
Speaker:to do our jobs and to pay the bills and then to lay down and die.
Speaker:Hard words.
Speaker:But that's the way it goes in our society these days, and that has to stop.
Speaker:If we want to evolve to the next level
Speaker:of human beings, of humanity, we have to wake up.
Speaker:We have to be aware of our true powers.
Speaker:And to answer your question, this is not for everybody.
Speaker:Of course not. But it's enough.
Speaker:If 20% of all the people do that,
Speaker:live a life consciously, that's going to change the whole world.
Speaker:It only in quotes, only needs 20%.
Speaker:The rest will follow automatically.
Speaker:But it's still a lot of people.
Speaker:It is.
Speaker:You talked about the mind.
Speaker:And something that fascinates me is mindset.
Speaker:And I hear it all the time.
Speaker:Every time that you see on TV,
Speaker:newspaper interviews and you talk about successful people
Speaker:or people who have achieved things in life regardless of what success means
Speaker:to anybody, every time that they ask them, what are the keys?
Speaker:What's the secret?
Speaker:What made you achieve those results?
Speaker:There seems to be a consensus around well,
Speaker:yes, it's hard work, it's discipline, grind, hustle, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker:But it's mental toughness. It's mindset.
Speaker:It's the mentality.
Speaker:And you see this in athletes.
Speaker:You see this in sports players.
Speaker:And I'm always fascinated because these
Speaker:people, they are aware that mindset is important,
Speaker:but they're not able, maybe not all of them are able to explain
Speaker:what mindset is and what is it about mindset that is so important.
Speaker:So can you answer those questions for you?
Speaker:What's the definition of mindset?
Speaker:And if you believe it's the most important thing in developing this consciousness and
Speaker:the miracles of life and everything, what's your take on that?
Speaker:I think it's not the most important thing.
Speaker:Mindset is the top layer.
Speaker:If, for example, someone tries to change the mindset,
Speaker:but it's not changing, it's not working somehow you can try through meditation,
Speaker:through affirmation, through whatnot to change your mindset.
Speaker:But if it's not working,
Speaker:there is an underlying problem, okay, that can be inflicted by your parents.
Speaker:For example superb.
Speaker:Famous example rich dad, Poor dad by Robot Kiyosaki.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:His true dad, his real dad was a government employee,
Speaker:had never money, worked his ass off all his life and didn't have money.
Speaker:And the father of the friend was
Speaker:an entrepreneur who had a mindset of entrepreneurship.
Speaker:And I experienced that myself because I
Speaker:tried to change my mindset first, and it didn't work.
Speaker:I made the same mistakes.
Speaker:I run into the same hurdles, the same obstacles, the same blockages.
Speaker:So I had to dig deeper.
Speaker:And when people talk about mindset,
Speaker:if you're interviewing me and it's about business and it's about
Speaker:positive and everything, of course I say, yeah, it's about mindset.
Speaker:But that's just the keyword for everything that goes beneath.
Speaker:In order to be able to have such
Speaker:a mindset, you have to be, as we said before, you have to be strong beneath.
Speaker:Some are born like that, and some have to work hard on that.
Speaker:But I think the mindset is, as I said, the top layer beneath is your strength.
Speaker:You still have to go through that pain.
Speaker:What's the label that you would put to that level below mindset?
Speaker:Self awareness. Self consciousness.
Speaker:You mentioned also the parents, something the parents did to you.
Speaker:Now, they didn't do things.
Speaker:They just the way they are, and they bring you up.
Speaker:So you have these values. That's it.
Speaker:So you go through life with the same values if you don't question them
Speaker:or if you don't dig through them to get your own values.
Speaker:And is in this layer where trauma.
Speaker:Happens, I guess so now I'm not a therapist.
Speaker:I'm a coach.
Speaker:I'm educating myself to become a therapist, but I'm not yet.
Speaker:So I don't want to not go into this.
Speaker:But there are three possible things.
Speaker:Either it's epigenetic or it's systemic or it's a trauma.
Speaker:These are the three reasons that hinders you to change your mindset.
Speaker:That's why I'm saying the top layer is mindset.
Speaker:But again, I'm still learning that. I'm reading books.
Speaker:My brain is exploding, and I'm not the expert on that.
Speaker:Still just a coach for the moment. Good one.
Speaker:Going to go into trauma.
Speaker:I'm going to make ask you one more question maybe you don't want to answer.
Speaker:I always ask this question because I'm
Speaker:fascinated about this, trying to connect the dots and see patterns and things.
Speaker:Do you believe that somebody, in order to generate that self awareness
Speaker:and to advance and talk about everything that we've done I know we talked about
Speaker:today must have they had to learn
Speaker:to overcome this layer of self awareness.
Speaker:If they have trauma,
Speaker:is it a must to have experienced those negative things in life in order to go
Speaker:deep inside and then bounce back, or it's not necessary?
Speaker:What's your approach on that?
Speaker:It's a big, huge question.
Speaker:It's a huge question.
Speaker:That's why I always ask it.
Speaker:My question is, do you need
Speaker:to have experienced trauma in order to be successful or to be self aware?
Speaker:Yes or no?
Speaker:I hope not.
Speaker:That's the hope.
Speaker:Everybody answered the same thing.
Speaker:But it shows that the most wise people,
Speaker:self aware people, successful people have all gone through some stuff.
Speaker:Now, what's the definition of trauma?
Speaker:If your father tells you all the time that you're worthless, that's a trauma, right?
Speaker:If I tell myself as a grown up that I'm
Speaker:worthless, that's a trauma, too, that I have inflicted on myself.
Speaker:So what's a trauma? Where does it start?
Speaker:Where does it end?
Speaker:For me, a very basic definition is hitting rock bottom.
Speaker:Okay? Yes.
Speaker:In that point in life where it's like, I feel like
Speaker:maybe you can always go further and hit rock bottom, but it's those moments where
Speaker:you believe if something doesn't change, it's game over.
Speaker:Okay?
Speaker:So I'd say, unfortunately, yes, there are exceptions to this rule.
Speaker:Like my coach and mentor,
Speaker:he had some traumas, but he was never totally rock bottom like I was.
Speaker:But still, he's very big man,
Speaker:very conscious man, excellent coach and mentor.
Speaker:I'm very fortunate to have him.
Speaker:But I think for most of us, yes, because we're stubborn, stupid bastards,
Speaker:and we need that hit in the stomach to wake up.
Speaker:Most of us, unfortunately, me included, of course.
Speaker:So back to your initial remark about men and young men.
Speaker:We need to do stupid things when you're
Speaker:young in order to perhaps accelerate the rock bottom part.
Speaker:Maybe.
Speaker:Yeah, but wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Speaker:To do stupid things as a young man is not equal to hit rock button
Speaker:and you cannot accelerate things or you cannot hit rock bottom on purpose.
Speaker:Consciously that doesn't work like that.
Speaker:So your flawed logic, forgive me, is okay,
Speaker:I have to hit rock button in order to be successful and happy.
Speaker:So what do I have to do to hit rock button?
Speaker:No, it's not going to work like that.
Speaker:No, be happy if you don't hit rock button because it's horrible.
Speaker:You don't wisdom to your worst enemy.
Speaker:No, it's flawed.
Speaker:Your logic is flawed.
Speaker:Let's talk about your program. All right.
Speaker:You work with people who experience these things from a coach perspective.
Speaker:So I work with men basically.
Speaker:And until now I worked with men who had
Speaker:addiction problems, basically alcohol, because that was my problem.
Speaker:But also other addiction that can be too
Speaker:much porn, too much sports, too much working.
Speaker:But with the time I figured that this is only a symptom.
Speaker:So it's one approach to stop poisoning yourself in order to get your mind,
Speaker:to get the clouds away from your mind and then you can start work on yourself.
Speaker:There is another approach that says start
Speaker:working on yourself and the symptom will vanish.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:So I figured, okay, if this symptom and other symptoms are all
Speaker:because of something that lies beneath, let's go and have a look beneath.
Speaker:That's how I save me in the long term.
Speaker:I save myself in the long term.
Speaker:I have a method that makes you stop drinking in 30 days.
Speaker:If you do what I say, if you follow the rules in 30 days, you're done.
Speaker:You never touch the bottle again.
Speaker:But to make it sustainable, you have to be interested.
Speaker:Why did I start drinking at the first place?
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:So I developed a program, as I said, and it's called understand, integrate own.
Speaker:What does that mean?
Speaker:It means understand your story.
Speaker:Because the solution is always in your story, not on the outside, inside.
Speaker:And then integrate your emotions.
Speaker:So try to lift some emotions.
Speaker:What I usually do is I provoke emotions in my customers or they do it themselves.
Speaker:I tell them, listen,
Speaker:pick some music that makes you cry or that makes you sad.
Speaker:And then sit there and listen and wait until you cry.
Speaker:And then you will discover, but that's not that bad after all.
Speaker:Or one customer of mine at the moment,
Speaker:he's always very angry, but he doesn't allow himself to be angry.
Speaker:So of course I had to check first if he allow himself to be angry, does he
Speaker:kill the whole family or what's going to happen?
Speaker:But then I discover, okay, he's a peaceful man, let's try this.
Speaker:And then he allows himself to get angry at his wife, at his children.
Speaker:Say I'm angry, I am angry now.
Speaker:And that's the healing process.
Speaker:Because then you see, okay,
Speaker:having emotions, allowing myself to go through these emotions,
Speaker:make them healthy emotions as I said before is the second step.
Speaker:And then the third step is own your emotional competence.
Speaker:You discovered now, okay,
Speaker:emotions are nothing bad to have, let's manage them because you cannot walk
Speaker:around angry all the time, especially if you're an executive,
Speaker:you have to be kind of the leader and calm and reserved a little bit and all that.
Speaker:So how do I manage now this whole new stack of emotions that I have?
Speaker:It's beautiful, I'm crying, I'm angry, I'm laughing, pissing myself off, whatever.
Speaker:How do I manage all that?
Speaker:And that's the third part.
Speaker:Own your emotional competence.
Speaker:And does the owning is that the part where people develop their self confidence
Speaker:and the security, is that the part or is a different process?
Speaker:So that becoming self aware starts
Speaker:in the second part already because you're becoming aware of your
Speaker:emotions and therefore you get self awareness because you say,
Speaker:okay, that's an emotion of mine, I have that very often.
Speaker:Oh, that's another one.
Speaker:Oh, look, here another one.
Speaker:So it opens your book.
Speaker:And by owning all this competence,
Speaker:getting competent in your emotional balance, in your emotional management,
Speaker:makes you become self confident and even more self aware.
Speaker:And that's then the point.
Speaker:You enter a room, you don't have to shout,
Speaker:you don't have to cry, you don't have to make a spectacle,
Speaker:people are noticing you and say, oh, there's a real man coming in,
Speaker:let's give him a seat, let's listen what he has to say.
Speaker:That's that part and it's three steps and usually it goes over twelve weeks or so.
Speaker:And you exclusively work with clients
Speaker:who have evictions or regular people who want to be more self aware?
Speaker:Not necessarily, I mean, I work with men
Speaker:who are aware that they cannot go on like that.
Speaker:I have breaks my heart a ton of customers
Speaker:who are sitting in their cars, crying silently before entering their home
Speaker:and telling, smiling their family that everything is fine, but it's not.
Speaker:And they're crying inside and they're breaking apart inside
Speaker:and they know if they continue like that, either the wife will leave them,
Speaker:they will lose their job, they will lose their life, or even worse.
Speaker:And that's the kind of man they're normally reaching out and say hey, listen,
Speaker:then I hear you work with emotions help, but you can come also earlier.
Speaker:I prefer if you come earlier because
Speaker:if the water is at your neck, it's usually quite urgent.
Speaker:So to work peacefully and calmly
Speaker:and with time, because everything needs time, please don't wait that long.
Speaker:That's when you tell them you should have called me sooner.
Speaker:No, I don't say that because that's
Speaker:blaming them and blame is not a good advice, never interesting.
Speaker:Anything else that you would like to add
Speaker:to this conversation that you believe is important for people listening?
Speaker:Any aspects of your program or your approach?
Speaker:Working with men that we haven't discussed, that you.
Speaker:Believe is important as a message.
Speaker:I think it's important to know that
Speaker:we men are finally allowed to have emotions and to live them openly.
Speaker:There's nothing wrong in that.
Speaker:There's nothing bad in that.
Speaker:And even if society still thinks that's weird, it's not.
Speaker:It's the next level of being a man.
Speaker:We have been man.
Speaker:I mean, in the Stone Age it was good.
Speaker:Do not cry along all day long because you had to provide
Speaker:and you had to be the strong man, fighting animals, protecting your kids, et cetera.
Speaker:But we're not in the Stone Age anymore.
Speaker:So please allow yourself to evolve.
Speaker:Allow yourself to have all these feelings.
Speaker:You're not a bad man because of that.
Speaker:On the contrary.
Speaker:Good. Excellent.
Speaker:Excellent.
Speaker:I always like to finish off the interviews with one question.
Speaker:So it's your turn now to answer.
Speaker:And a lot of people ask, oh,
Speaker:if you were to recommend a book, but my approach is a bit different.
Speaker:If you were to write a book
Speaker:that you believe everybody in humanity must read, what would that book be?
Speaker:And what would your message be with that book?
Speaker:It doesn't exist.
Speaker:Because there is no book that everybody should read.
Speaker:Because everybody is different.
Speaker:We have 8 billion histories, 8 billion stories.
Speaker:Everybody is so different.
Speaker:There is no book for everybody.
Speaker:Write your own book. Tell your story.
Speaker:Come out with it.
Speaker:Your story is beautiful.
Speaker:Every single story is beautiful. Tell it.
Speaker:That's the book. You should read your own.
Speaker:Never heard that answer before.
Speaker:It's certainly out of the box answer.
Speaker:So instead of reading one book,
Speaker:you believe that everybody should be able to write their own book.
Speaker:To read their own book. Read their own book.
Speaker:Yeah. Read your story.
Speaker:Read your book.
Speaker:You're going to be very wise once you've finished.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:Like that. I like that.
Speaker:Me too. Excellent.
Speaker:Excellent. Daniel, where can people find you?
Speaker:So you can find me at DanielG online.
Speaker:The website is going to be live next Monday,
Speaker:but still you can hit the button and then enter your email and you get a reminder.
Speaker:Or for people struggling with alcohol, you can hit quittheball.com.
Speaker:Quit the bottle. Okay.
Speaker:Okay. You can find me on LinkedIn.
Speaker:I guess you will publish the link to my profile.
Speaker:That's my main platform. That's where I am.
Speaker:That's where you can DM me, can send me a message.
Speaker:You can find me on TikTok too.
Speaker:Then we have some fun together.
Speaker:Because TikTok is a funny platform and I have a YouTube channel too.
Speaker:But I didn't do anything lately. No time.
Speaker:But Link is the main platform.
Speaker:You're going to find me. Excellent.
Speaker:Yeah, that's where I got to meet you.
Speaker:And it's where I enjoy your content.
Speaker:I'll check you out on TikTok too.
Speaker:Daniel, thank you so much for being a guest in this podcast.
Speaker:The episode will come out shortly and good luck on your program launch.
Speaker:And thank you for being here once again.
Speaker:Thank you very much, Sean Paul, for having me.
Speaker:Thanks. Take care.
